Today, Modernists. Tomorrow, the world!
The world of fine art theft is a romantic one, subject for many popular films, usually showcasing desperately attractive people in a wide range of clothing, from dinner jackets to latex scuba numbers. I myself love a good art heist film.
The Thomas Crown Affair
Image courtesy BBC
It is not small. It was, police say, hoisted with a crane onto the back of a flatbed truck and hauled away. Investigators say that it could either be a case of fine art theft or, they admit, it might have been stolen to be melted down as scrap metal.
Now, cognoscenti, I will not lie. I had never heard of Henry Moore until I read this article. I realize that probably makes me a bit of a Philistine, so I apologize. Modern art, as you know, is a little after my period. But nevertheless. In researching a bit more, I was intrigued to find that three weeks ago, on Tuesday 29 November, Bonhams auctioned off a 23 cm high Henry Moore piece for a grand total of £1.07 million pounds, entitled Mother and Child.
If life conformed to a genre, in this case the art heist/conspiracy film, this would all be a vast conspiracy. And perhaps it is - here's the timeline:
November 29: A Henry Moore sculpture sells for over a million pounds.
December 11: Edith Wharton's library is purchased by a shadowy figure. In the same week, New Zealand police receive a tip-off that a monumental Moore sculpture in the Botanic Gardens, Wellington, is about to be stolen. Valued at nearly £3 million pounds, it is placed under guard.
December 15: At an auction in London, a first edition of Joyce's Ulysses sells at double its guide price, fetching E100,000. The seller? An anonymous collector...
December 16: In a reaction to the release of the very successful Lady Chatterly line at Ann Summers, DH Lawrence's estate, managed by literary agents and firm Pollinger Ltd, calls for its retraction.
I think it is quite clear what's going on.
Shadowy coalitions have been forming for decades, and now the Postmodernists have made their move. Artificially driving up the cost of major Modernist works via prominent thefts, sales, and auctions, they intend to flood the market and simultaneously loose their operatives within the press. Within a matter of days, major journalistic outlets will be deconstructed into oblivion and soon, the Postmodernists will believe that they have won.
But meaning is slippery and the self fragmented, as the PoMos soon discover, when a helpless government calls in its last hope - the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood. Armed with luminous colors and a disgust for academic snobbery, these vigilantes will wield powerful archetypes and entrenched literary symbols to prop up disintegrating Master Narratives. The climax will come when the PoMo coalition attempts its most daring feat yet - the replacement of Moore's Reclining Figure at Lincoln Center with an elephant dressed as Andy Warhol. Will the Pre-Raphaelites triumph? Will the treasures of Modernist art be forever lost? Will forbidden love flower between the Lady of Shallot and Reclining Figure? Find out in theatres this January!
The Thomas Crown Affair
Which is why this most recent news item from the BBC caught my eye: £3 million Henry Moore sculpture stolen!
It really is rather remarkable - apparently the large hollow cast-bronze figure had been moved temporarily from its normal garden position and was stolen by some enterprising theives with a flatbed truck. Just to give you an idea of the complicated nature of something like this, here's a picture of the sculpture:
It really is rather remarkable - apparently the large hollow cast-bronze figure had been moved temporarily from its normal garden position and was stolen by some enterprising theives with a flatbed truck. Just to give you an idea of the complicated nature of something like this, here's a picture of the sculpture:
Image courtesy BBC
It is not small. It was, police say, hoisted with a crane onto the back of a flatbed truck and hauled away. Investigators say that it could either be a case of fine art theft or, they admit, it might have been stolen to be melted down as scrap metal.
Now, cognoscenti, I will not lie. I had never heard of Henry Moore until I read this article. I realize that probably makes me a bit of a Philistine, so I apologize. Modern art, as you know, is a little after my period. But nevertheless. In researching a bit more, I was intrigued to find that three weeks ago, on Tuesday 29 November, Bonhams auctioned off a 23 cm high Henry Moore piece for a grand total of £1.07 million pounds, entitled Mother and Child.
If life conformed to a genre, in this case the art heist/conspiracy film, this would all be a vast conspiracy. And perhaps it is - here's the timeline:
November 29: A Henry Moore sculpture sells for over a million pounds.
December 11: Edith Wharton's library is purchased by a shadowy figure. In the same week, New Zealand police receive a tip-off that a monumental Moore sculpture in the Botanic Gardens, Wellington, is about to be stolen. Valued at nearly £3 million pounds, it is placed under guard.
December 15: At an auction in London, a first edition of Joyce's Ulysses sells at double its guide price, fetching E100,000. The seller? An anonymous collector...
December 16: In a reaction to the release of the very successful Lady Chatterly line at Ann Summers, DH Lawrence's estate, managed by literary agents and firm Pollinger Ltd, calls for its retraction.
I think it is quite clear what's going on.
Shadowy coalitions have been forming for decades, and now the Postmodernists have made their move. Artificially driving up the cost of major Modernist works via prominent thefts, sales, and auctions, they intend to flood the market and simultaneously loose their operatives within the press. Within a matter of days, major journalistic outlets will be deconstructed into oblivion and soon, the Postmodernists will believe that they have won.
But meaning is slippery and the self fragmented, as the PoMos soon discover, when a helpless government calls in its last hope - the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood. Armed with luminous colors and a disgust for academic snobbery, these vigilantes will wield powerful archetypes and entrenched literary symbols to prop up disintegrating Master Narratives. The climax will come when the PoMo coalition attempts its most daring feat yet - the replacement of Moore's Reclining Figure at Lincoln Center with an elephant dressed as Andy Warhol. Will the Pre-Raphaelites triumph? Will the treasures of Modernist art be forever lost? Will forbidden love flower between the Lady of Shallot and Reclining Figure? Find out in theatres this January!
posted by Katie at
3:33 AM
3 Comments:
Someone's been reading too much Fforde . . .
Are you collecting?
your logic is flawless
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