Saturday, February 19, 2005

WWPHND?

What would Prince Henry the Navigator (1394-1460) do?

A question we ought to ask ourselves whenever we are in a tight spot or are just out of ideas about where to go next. After all, if you're going to ask an historical figure for advice, you could not possibly find a better source. For example...

**dream sequence music...you know how it sounds, supply your own!**

Me: Hello, I'd like a large dark roast to go, please.
Barista: Sorry, we're out of dark roast.
Me: Really? All out?
Barista: Yep.
Me: (increasingly frantic) But, but, but...you can't be out! It's what I drink! I can't drink a medium roast or - horror or horrors - your flavored crap "I don't want to taste anything but disgusting hazelnut and/or raspberry syrup" in a cup!
Barista: So...
Me: Just a minute, woman! Let me think!

At this point, I have several options. I could break down and weep like a little girl, but this - while appealing in that I might in fact have enough caffeine in my system to produce a credible French Roast from my tear ducts - is not immediately practicable. Alternately, I could travel to Colombia, harvest and roast my own beans while avoiding insurgents with machine guns, grind them (oooh - unclear antecedent alert! That's the coffee beans I'm grinding, not the insurgents) using stones borrowed off the locals, and brew an infusion over a campfire, but this is the opposite of immediate gratification. So I ask myself...

What Would Prince Henry The Navigator Do?

And then I know, all of a sudden.


Barista: Well? Are you going to take all day??
Me: No! I am not going to take all day - in fact, I know what to do now! I'm going to establish a school for sailors and seafarers in Portugal to enable them to learn the science of navigation and geography and to plumb the secrets of the Dark Continent. Then I'll finance expeditions down the coast of Africa to discover things no-one has ever discovered before! It will work!
Barista: Fine. Next!

Thanks, Prince Henry the Navigator!

1 Comments:

Blogger Kevin Jackson said...

Well, this is interesting. I did a blog search for barista and found your site. When I get some time I'll come back and find out where barista appears and how it relates - if it even does. Take care - nice work.

3:45 AM  

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